Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is based on the concept that our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are interconnected (affect each other). Correctly changing one of them can break the vicious circle of our problems and improve our feelings and performance. Aaron Beck invented CBT in the 1960s.

(Click here to see a simple model.)

CBT focuses on changing unhelpful cognitive distortions (negative thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes) and behaviours to improve emotional regulation, develop better personal coping strategies, and solve our current mental health problems.

• CBT is a solution-focused and action-oriented therapy. This means that it is used to treat specific issues related to an identified problem. The coach’s (or therapist’s) role is to assist the client in finding and practising effective strategies that address the problem and decrease its symptoms.

• CBT is based on the belief that thought distortions and maladaptive behaviours play an important role in developing and maintaining disorders or problems. So, the associated symptoms can be drastically reduced by learning new ways of thinking and behaving.

• CBT is a talking therapy that focuses on how our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect our feelings and behaviours and teaches us coping skills for dealing with many emotional problems.

• CBT is recommended as the first line of treatment for a wide range of disorders. Research suggests that CBT is most effective when combined with medication (where necessary), particularly for treating more severe mental disorders.

Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive distortions are errors in beliefs, assumptions, and/or thinking which exacerbate negative emotions and undesirable behaviours. These may include: over-generalising, magnifying negatives, minimising positives and catastrophizing. Replacing these distorted thoughts and beliefs with more realistic and effective thoughts will decrease emotional distress and self-defeating behaviours.

We engage in unhelpful and distorted thinking either due to stress, sickness or mental habits that have been acquired throughout our lives. If we can notice and identify our unhelpful and distorted thinking patterns, we can question them, dispute them, and replace them with more realistic and helpful alternatives.

Examples of Cognitive Distortions

The following is a list of unhelpful ways of thinking, which could help us spot such distortions and question their validity.

1. Filtering

Filtering (mental/cognitive filtering) means taking only what our mental filter allows (often, only the negative details) and leaving out the rest (all positive aspects of a situation). Cognitive filtering is like looking through dark blinkers or gloomy specs.

2. Black and White Thinking

We see things as all or nothing in black and white thinking (or polarised thinking - good or bad - right or wrong). We become perfectionists. If what we want is not perfect or complete, it’s not acceptable. There is no middle ground (nothing in-between). We lose our nuanced judgement (with no shades of grey - forbidding complexity). A person with black and white thinking sees things only in extremes.

3. Generalising

Generalising (over-generalising) happens where we wrongly come to a general conclusion based on a piece of single or limited evidence. For example, if we’ve done something wrong once or twice, we accuse ourselves of being clumsy, worthless or incompetent, and we expect such failures happen over and over again. A person with this way of thinking may see a couple of unpleasant events as part of a never-ending pattern of defeat.

4. Jumping to Conclusions

A person who jumps to conclusions assumes that they know what others feel and think, or exactly why they acted the way they did. In particular, such a person believes that they know how others feel, as though they could read their mind (mind-reading). Jumping to conclusions can also manifest itself as fortune-telling (predicting), where a person believes that they know what will happen in the future. For example, someone may anticipate that things will turn out badly in their next relationship, and feel convinced that their prediction is already a fact, so why bother dating.

5. Catastrophizing

When a person engages in catastrophizing, they imagine and believe that the worst possible thing will happen. They expect disaster. This is also referred to as magnifying negatives and can also show in its opposite form, minimizing positives. It has been identified as an explanatory style of pessimists.

6. Personalising

Personalising involves interpreting external events as though they are directly related to us or what we have done rather than attributed to other factors. We may believe that everything others do or say is in some way related to us. This is where we literally take everything personally, even when it is not meant in that way. Personalising leads to blaming ourselves for everything that goes wrong or seeing others as unkind and mean.

7. Fallacy of Control

It is possible (especially in cases of depression) that people may feel helpless and think that they have little or no control over the events in their lives. Alternatively, feeling that everything relies on them. These extreme perceptions of control, either too much or too little, promote guilt, depression and despondency.

People who feel that they have too little or no control over the events in their lives may stop doing things that could improve their situation. They may even end the activities they used to enjoy.

People who feel they should have total control and everything depends on them may become angry or anxious when they realise things aren't happening the way they expect. They may also take responsibility for things outside their control, which will add to their feelings of distress and guilt.

8. Being Judgemental

We often evaluate and judge ourselves, others, and events around us based on our limited knowledge and understanding, which of course, is not always right or helpful. We may feel resentful because we think we know what’s right (appropriate), as we apply our own yardstick and standards against every situation, trying to determine its fairness. But of course, we end up feeling offended, angry, and even hopeless because things will not always work out our way.

Moreover, being judgemental essentially means thinking, speaking, or behaving in a critical and condemning manner. When we are judgmental, we are nitpicking and constantly find faults with others, their ideas or behaviours. In short, we judge and condemn everyone and everything as bad, stupid or unworthy.

Being judgmental also extends to ourselves, leading to many problems such as anxiety, low self-worth and depression.

9. Blaming

When a person engages in blaming, they hold other people responsible for their emotional pain. They are also susceptible to blaming themselves for every problem, even those clearly outside their own control.

“I only did it because you don't love me." - "If you hadn't done x and y, I wouldn't have to do z." - "This is all your fault." - "You never listen to me! You only care about your friends."

Things that happen to us are often the result of multiple contributing factors and can be caused by a combination of our own actions and those of other people. As well as weakening our relationships, blaming others and refusing to take responsibility for our shortcomings and mistakes can damage our mental health, our ability to solve our problems, and damages our potential to flourish.

10. Should, Must and Ought to

Thinking or saying “I should, or shouldn’t”, “I must, or must not”, or “I ought to, or ought not to” puts unnecessary pressure on us and sets up unrealistic expectations.

Should, must and out to statements appear as rules about how we live. People who break these rules (including ourselves) make us angry, upset and violated. People who frequently use these terms may believe they are trying to motivate themselves as if they have to be punished, pressured or ordered to do the right thing. The emotional consequences are guilt, anger, frustration and resentment.

11. Emotional Reasoning

The distortion of emotional reasoning can be summed up by the statement, “If I feel that way, it must be true.” Sometimes people automatically believe that what they feel is true, regardless of any valid evidence. Emotional reasoning amplifies the effects of other cognitive distortions, such as magnifying, generalising or personalising.

Sometimes our emotions are extreme and can overrule our rational thoughts and reasoning. Emotional reasoning happens when a person’s emotions take over their thinking and behaviour, blocking out rationality and all available evidence. The person who engages in emotional reasoning assumes that their emotions reflect the way things really are and base their judgement on their feelings which can be triggered for unknown reasons.

12. Labelling

Labelling (or mislabeling) happens when a person generalises a quality of themselves or others into a negative global judgment by giving it a label. This is an extreme form of over-generalisation. Instead of describing an error in the context of a specific situation, the person attaches an unhealthy universal label to themselves or others.

For example, they may say, “I’m a loser” or “he is stupid” in a situation where someone failed at a specific task. Labelling involves descriptions that are often emotional and highly loaded. Additionally, such labels are always hurtful and absolutely wrong.

When people experience a painful (or at least an unhelpful) emotion such as anger, guilt or sadness, they often come up with many questionable statements and thoughts, which often follow a habitual pattern. These unhelpful thinking tendencies or cognitive distortions happen outside of our conscious awareness, come in many different ways, and can be categorised into various groups (I’ve included twelve). However, if they are used constantly and consistently, they cause a great deal of distress, anxiety and pain for the individual who uses them and others who directly or indirectly are affected by them.

Correcting Wrong Beliefs or Assumptions

The first step is learning to observe our thoughts and be aware of our potential cognitive (mental) distortions. The support of a coach or a therapist is beneficial at this stage.

We need to be aware of our underlying beliefs and/or assumptions and that they are our subjective views, not the objective truth, and we can change them.

We should learn about common cognitive distortions (see the above list) and that they are part of human thinking. It’s easy to adopt them, but it’s often difficult to see them for what they are and to avoid them. Again, the support of a coach or a therapist would help identify and change them.

How can I validate or reject my cognitive distortions?

• Ask clarifying and probing questions.

• Get the necessary knowledge about your condition.

• Research the subject matter.

• Analyse the evidence.

Decide on reflection, not impulse.

• What’s important now?

• What’s my responsibility in this situation?

• What’s possible?

• What are the alternatives?

• What are my choices?

• Who can I turn to, rely on, talk with, consult with?

• What’s the best course of action?

• What’s the first thing I need to do? (Do it with no hesitation.)

Self-management and CBT

Self-management is defined as the individual’s response-ability to manage their physical and emotional symptoms and social consequences and lifestyle changes inherent in dealing with and overcoming their conditions. Some of such skills include;

• self-monitoring,

• goal setting (dream goals and SMART goals),

• action planning,

• disputing the automatic (habitual) negative thoughts,

• regulating the emerging emotions,

• managing the environment,

• building and using social supports,

• learning about the condition and its potential treatments,

• seeking help (where necessary).

Please contact Reza if you have any question about this topic, or want to leave a comment.